A HOSPTIAL patient in Denmark broke wind during an operation and set fire to his gentials.
The man, age 30, was having a mole removed from his backside with an electric knife. He farted. The gas caused a spark. His genitals, which were soaked in surgical spirits, caught fire.
The man offers:
“When I woke up, my penis and scrotum were burning like hell. Beside the pain, I can’t have sex with my wife.”
The surgeons called it “an unfortunate accident”.
Elizabeth Gladys "Millvina" Dean
LONDON – Millvina Dean, who as a baby was wrapped in a sack and lowered into a lifeboat in the frigid North Atlantic, died Sunday, having been the last survivor of 1912 sinking of the RMS Titanic.
She was 97 years old, and she died where she had lived — in Southampton, England, the city her family had tried to leave behind when it took the ship's ill-fated maiden voyage, bound for America.
She died in her sleep early Sunday, her friend Gunter Babler told the Associated Press. It was the 98th anniversary of the launch of the ship that was billed as "practically unsinkable."
Babler said Dean's longtime companion, Bruno Nordmanis, called him in Switzerland to say staff at Woodlands Ridge Nursing Home in Southampton discovered Dean in her room Sunday morning. He said she had been hospitalized with pneumonia last week but she had recovered and returned to the home.
A staff nurse at the nursing home said late Sunday that no one would comment until administrators came on duty Monday morning.
Dean just over 2 months old when the Titanic hit an iceberg on the night of April 14, 1912. The ship sank in less than three hours.
Dean was one of 706 people — mostly women and children — who survived. Her father was among the 1,517 who died.
Babler, who is head of the Switzerland Titanic Society, said Dean was a "very good friend of very many years."
"I met her through the Titanic society but she became a friend and I went to see very every month or so," he said.
The pride of the White Star line, the Titanic had a mahogany-paneled smoking room, a swimming pool and a squash court. But it did not have enough lifeboats for all of its 2,200 passengers and crew.
Dean's family were steerage passengers setting out from the English port of Southampton for a new life in the United States. Her father had sold his pub and hoped to open a tobacconists' shop in Kansas City, Missouri, where his wife had relatives.
Initially scheduled to travel on another ship, the family was transferred to the Titanic because of a coal strike. Four days out of port and about 600 kilometers (380 miles) southeast of Newfoundland, the ship hit an iceberg. The impact buckled the Titanic's hull and sent sea water pouring into six of its supposedly watertight compartments.
Dean said her father's quick actions saved his family. He felt the ship scrape the iceberg and hustled the family out of its third-class quarters and toward the lifeboat that would take them to safety. "That's partly what saved us — because he was so quick. Some people thought the ship was unsinkable," Dean told the British Broadcasting Corp. in 1998.
Wrapped in a sack against the Atlantic chill, Dean was lowered into a lifeboat. Her 2-year-old brother Bertram and her mother Georgette also survived.
"She said goodbye to my father and he said he'd be along later," Dean said in 2002. "I was put into lifeboat 13. It was a bitterly cold night and eventually we were picked up by the Carpathia."
The family was taken to New York, then returned to England with other survivors aboard the rescue ship Adriatic. Dean did not know she had been aboard the Titanic until she was 8 years old, when her mother, about to remarry, told her about her father's death. Her mother, always reticent about the tragedy, died in 1975 at age 95.
Photo Credit: Josh Exell
National Geographic is absolutely known for their astonishing and beautiful photography and they have a portion of their website dedicated to sharing some of their very best images with the public.
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Named in honor of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves from it.(13 January 2008, Florida) Wearing only swim trunks and sneakers, a 37-year-old man raced his motorcycle toward the Manasota Key drawbridge. As the bridge began to open, it was clear that he intended to "shoot the gap."
Bridge designers had anticipated such lunacy and invented the crossing
guard. The closing gates swept him off his Suzuki, over the side of the bridge, into the water, and out of the gene pool.By a twist of fate the motorcycle continued up the ramp and made it across to the other side.
Snowmobiles and alcohol are a dangerous mix. Then came the rabbit.
After a day spent partying and racing snowmobiles in the wilderness, a group of snowmobilers were headed back to their cabin, when up popped a jackrabbit! They gave chase. Several collisions were narrowly averted, and so all the snowmobiles backed off... except one.
This snowmobiler kept his eye on the quarry and rapidly closed in. The
rabbit darted aside to save itself. The snowmobiler closed in again. The rabbit ran toward the road, where there was less snow. Trying to ram his rabbit before it crossed the road, the man accelerated to Mach 1.
But the rabbit had other ideas. It darted into the culvert beneath the
road. Witnesses stated that the snowmobiler never even braked. There was a metallic crunch as the accelerating vehicle rammed into the culvert, followed by a blast that shattered the snowmobile into a thousand bits.
This brand of snowmobile had a fuel tank mounted in front. The culvert
admitted the tip of the snowmobile, then cut into the cowling, spilling fuel over the hot engine. The body of the snowmobiler was blown twenty feet back into the field.The rabbit's whereabouts was unknown.
( 8 March 2008, Florida) Just because you see it online does not mean it's a good idea. Cameron, 18, was joyriding in a shopping cart as he held onto a moving SUV. An eyewitness said, "It's irresponsible behavior, but what do you expect from kids?" The car and the cart went over a speed bump and the cart overturned, ejecting its occupant, who was not wearing the little seat belt. Cameron was pronounced dead at the scene.
It was about 1968. I was third man in the cockpit on an Eastern Airlines Lockheed 1011 (2nd officer). David was pilot and Charles was 1st officer(copilot). Diana was a new (just graduated) stewardess (cabin attendant). It was an early morning flight from St. Louis to some East Coast city I can't recall, probably New York or Boston.
Once we were in the air, David picked up the public announcing handset and announced "Cabin attendant to the cockpit, please." Diana showed up and David said "The 1st officer is not feeling well, would you please bring us a sick bag."
She left, and returned with a bag. David said thank you, and she returned to the passenger cabin.
David took the bag and poured into it the contents of a can of Campbell's concentrated vegetable soup, which he had opened with the can opener on his pocket knife. A few minutes later, he again called for the cabin attendant.
Diana arrived, and he gave her the full bag and said "Please dispose of this." She took the bag and began to leave. She was a step or two out of the cockpit when David said "Wait a minute, bring that back."
She brought the bag back, and David took it, opened it and looked inside. Then he said " Boy, this looks pretty good" and dipped his hand into the bag, pulled out some of the contents and ate it.
Diana then barfed big time, but since she had not brought a bag for herself, she barfed all over David and Charles.
There is a moral here, but I don't know what it is.
Rob
When identifying cyberstalking "in the field," and particularly when considering whether to report it to any kind of legal authority, the following features or combination of features can be considered to characterize a true stalking situation: malice, premeditation, repetition, distress, obsession, vendetta, no legitimate purpose, personally directed, disregarded warnings to stop, harassment, and threats.A number of key factors have been identified:
FROM THE WEBSITE:LINK TO MAIN WEBPAGEThe Museum was established in 1997 in order to promote knowledge about the phenomenon of hoaxes. It plays host to a variety of humbugs and hoodwinks—from ancient deceptions all the way up to modern schemes, dupes, and dodges that circulate on the internet.
The museum is divided into a variety of different sections. There's a historical wing, in which hoaxes are presented chronologically, from the Middle Ages right up to the present; a Gallery of April Fool's Day hoaxes, celebrating that one day of the year devoted to pranks and practical jokes; a Tall-Tale Creature Gallery that delves into the natural history of species such as the Jackalope and the Fur-Bearing Trout; and much, much more.
Take a look around and check out the exhibits. Marvel at the woman who gave birth to rabbits, be astounded by the Swiss spaghetti trees, and shocked by the Bonsai Kittens. Try to decide if you would have fallen for any of the hoaxes. There are even some tests for you to determine just how gullible you really are. Just remember that there's no claim so stupid that someone, somewhere won't believe it!
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You can read the rest of the L.A. Times article here.Published reports have raised questions whether AT&T, a program sponsor, may have violated "Idol" voting rules at two pre-finale parties thrown for Kris Allen, the Arkansas crooner crowned winner last Wednesday. Partisans of Adam Lambert, the runner-up, have generated stormy online protests about alleged voting improprieties that could have thrown the outcome.
AT&T confirmed that its employees handed out phones to party guests in Arkansas and then offered pointers on how to text votes. The reports said the workers also briefed guests on how to "power-text" multiple votes at once, which would have been a violation of "Idol's" rules.
The fracas has embarrassed AT&T, which has for years gotten repeated shout-outs from "Idol" host Ryan Seacrest in exchange for its paid sponsorship.
In a statement, the company said its workers were "caught up in the enthusiasm of rooting for their hometown contestant."
And if that's not your particular cup of what-not, you could always try their... [DRUM ROLL, PLEASE]... F-cup Cookies!!! Oh yeahhhhhh! Really. You couldn't make this shit up, only someone DID because they know some people will believe this hooey and shell out the bucks for it.
FDA, are you listening? This crap is being sold here in the United States, thanks to the internet. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT IT? Hmmm???
F-cup? What's so wrong about a good old-fashioned double-D?
Told ya. I wasn't kidding.
TAIPEI (Reuters) - A Taiwanese groom died on his wedding day after having too much wine and beer to drink, police and local media said Monday.
The man, 35, an insurance company worker surnamed Wu passed out at home after drinking too much Saturday at a high-end restaurant in Taipei among more than 100 wedding guests, the Liberty Times reported.
It was not known if he had health complications.
"Everyone was having a great time," said restaurant party organizer Linda Chien. "We don't know what happened after that."
Wu was hospitalized after his face turned black, the paper said. A hospital spokeswoman said he died despite treatment.
Syria has a conservative Muslim society where many women still wear the hijab, and pre-marital sex is almost unheard of. But since its appearance in the market a decade ago, the demand for sexy lingerie has exploded.
Al-Hamidiyeh Souk – a large commercial quarter – stands in the shadow of the most famous mosque of Damascus. Inside you can buy carpets, antiques, water pipes and musical instruments – all of which are traditional market goods.
However, these days something else is drawing in the customers. Most of the regulars are married women, like Shahed, and mothers bolstering their daughters' dowries.
"The underwear is very important for my partner, and makes me feel like a woman," Shahed says.
Behind this apparent empowerment is a very traditional impulse. "When a woman gets married, the groom's mother goes round her house and sees how she cooks, how she cleans, and whether she can please her man – and that's where the lingerie comes in," Hanadi Khateeb, Baladna lifestyle Magazine editor says.
Lingerie designer Ali Nasser crosses comic book Western sexuality with oriental kitsch. Nasser is unlikely to be mistaken for John Galliano, but looks can be deceptive.
"I always have my own ideas. The market moves so fast here, you always have to stay one step ahead," he says.
Despite a fear of competitors spying on his work, Ali is eager to show off what he hopes will wow his customers next season (see video).
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