Dick Cheney Warns Of Alien Attack Under Obama

WASHINGTON (CAP) - Former Vice President Dick Cheney continues to try to put unrational fear into the hearts of Americans as he now says that there's a "high probability" the United States will come under alien attack during President Obama's tenure. He said the aliens would have weapons of mass destruction, "the likes of which we have never seen."


"Hundreds of thousands of people, perhaps millions of bajillions of people would have their brains eaten in such an attack," Cheney warned yesterday. "President Obama's lack of experience with alien attacks makes the U.S. particularly vulnerable in this case."


Cheney said he missed his role defending former President Bush from aliens and hoped that the supply of tinfoil hats he made for the ex-commander in chief would be enough to keep him safe during his post-White House days in the UFO heartland of Texas. Cheney also claimed to have bagged a couple of aliens himself during the past eight years, including one that he said had taken the shape of his friend Harry Whittington.


"I'm not so sure how well he really protected President Bush," said CAP News political analyst Tom Brashcott. "I think if you look at some of the decisions Bush made during his two terms, you could easily argue his brains were eaten a long time ago."

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