Weird Website: Brains for Zombies

This is a very clever idea and funny - a website spoofing the Amazon.com model and it's all about brains. Hmmm... maybe there's something there for those pitiful creatures (see earlier post below) who actually believe what Rush Limbaugh has to say. Ha ha ha ha ha...

SEE THE WEBSITE

The Mother of All Excuses Place

This website has a funny collection of excuses that people have used for getting out of work as well as sections for missing school and homework excuses, police or accident excuses, kids excuses, getting out of family events and holiday functions, breaking dates, doctor excuses, doctors note, missing church, wedding, diet excuses, why I ate that, debt excuses, tax excuses, not paying the rent, getting out of home repair excuses, unwanted house guest excuses, jury duty, defense excuses, not voting, no sex, miscellaneous excuses, excuse related humor and funny things that people do stories.

Here's a work excuse that someone actually used: "I can't come to work today because I forgot my car at home."

Homework excuse: "My cat killed my dog which ate my homework, then flushed him down the toilet."

School excuse: "While I was walking to school, my shoes fell apart. I went back home to see if I had any more. I didn't and my mom wouldn't let me leave the house without any shoes."

Police excuse: "Please excuse me from this speeding ticket. My wife ran off with a state policeman and when I saw your flashing lights I didn't stop because I thought you might be the trooper who is trying to bring her back to me."

Dating excuse: "Hello Jennifer I can not meet you tonight and go out like we wanted to. I went surfing today and I like got washed out to sea and you know like it took me all day to get back in so I'm still here and like I won't be home in time for our date."

Dieting excuse: "Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, and Popsicles."

Debt excuse: "I only spent $500 so I only repaid you the $500. That is fair." The man had borrowed $1,500.

Tax excuse: "It was my accountant's job to file the tax return." [United States v. Boyle, 469 U.S. 241 (1985).].

Jury Duty excuse: "I'm a professional psychic so I would know who is guilty even before the trial." (Excuse not accepted, man ordered to report for jury duty) [Reported in "Juror Excuses: Creativity Reigns" by Scott Goldstein, New Jersey Law Journal, 7 February 2000, p. 1].

No Sex excuses: "I can't have sex with you tonight because my feet smell."

Rent Excuse: "Sorry I can't pay my rent my car was repo'd and My paycheck was in it."

...and lots, lots more!

Marry an Ugly Millionaire Online Dating Agency

The online dating agency with a BIG difference!!

Having trouble finding Mr or Mrs Right? Always in debt? Massive overdraft?

Welcome to Marry an Ugly Millionaire - the online dating agency created for people like you. We provide a unique dating and marriage service. A service that you will not find elsewhere on the internet. For we are about to solve both your financial problems and your relationship problems with just a few clicks of the mouse!

Rune's Barf Bag Collection

Rune's Barf Bag Collection now exhibits 1289 different bags from 481 airlines in 133 countries!

"What sounds to be one of the most disgusting sites on the web is actually one of the funniest. A comprehensive collection of "barf bags" from airlines worldwide, this site has pictures and descriptions for each one (none are shown used). If you've ever been curious about the world of the barf bag, this is the place for you!" -- Boscoplace "Superior Design Award" April 2000

A featured "barf bag story":

It was about 1968. I was third man in the cockpit on an Eastern Airlines Lockheed 1011 (2nd officer). David was pilot and Charles was 1st officer(copilot). Diana was a new (just graduated) stewardess (cabin attendant). It was an early morning flight from St. Louis to some East Coast city I can't recall, probably New York or Boston.

Once we were in the air, David picked up the public announcing handset and announced "Cabin attendant to the cockpit, please." Diana showed up and David said "The 1st officer is not feeling well, would you please bring us a sick bag."

She left, and returned with a bag. David said thank you, and she returned to the passenger cabin.

David took the bag and poured into it the contents of a can of Campbell's concentrated vegetable soup, which he had opened with the can opener on his pocket knife. A few minutes later, he again called for the cabin attendant.

Diana arrived, and he gave her the full bag and said "Please dispose of this." She took the bag and began to leave. She was a step or two out of the cockpit when David said "Wait a minute, bring that back."

She brought the bag back, and David took it, opened it and looked inside. Then he said " Boy, this looks pretty good" and dipped his hand into the bag, pulled out some of the contents and ate it.

Diana then barfed big time, but since she had not brought a bag for herself, she barfed all over David and Charles.

There is a moral here, but I don't know what it is.

Rob

VISIT THIS WEBSITE

Crazy Thoughts

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hotdogs?

At a movie theater which arm rest is yours?

What is Satan's last name?

Why do doctors leave the room when you change? They're going to see you naked anyway.

Where does the toetag go on a dead person if they don't have toes?

If your driving a federal owned car, and you run a stop sign, is it considered a felony?

Why is there a disclaimer on the Allstate Auto Insurance commericals that says "Not available in all states"?

If you dug a hole through the center of the earth,and jumped in, would you stay at the center because of gravity?

...and more points to ponder HERE.