The Mother of All Excuses Place

This website has a funny collection of excuses that people have used for getting out of work as well as sections for missing school and homework excuses, police or accident excuses, kids excuses, getting out of family events and holiday functions, breaking dates, doctor excuses, doctors note, missing church, wedding, diet excuses, why I ate that, debt excuses, tax excuses, not paying the rent, getting out of home repair excuses, unwanted house guest excuses, jury duty, defense excuses, not voting, no sex, miscellaneous excuses, excuse related humor and funny things that people do stories.

Here's a work excuse that someone actually used: "I can't come to work today because I forgot my car at home."

Homework excuse: "My cat killed my dog which ate my homework, then flushed him down the toilet."

School excuse: "While I was walking to school, my shoes fell apart. I went back home to see if I had any more. I didn't and my mom wouldn't let me leave the house without any shoes."

Police excuse: "Please excuse me from this speeding ticket. My wife ran off with a state policeman and when I saw your flashing lights I didn't stop because I thought you might be the trooper who is trying to bring her back to me."

Dating excuse: "Hello Jennifer I can not meet you tonight and go out like we wanted to. I went surfing today and I like got washed out to sea and you know like it took me all day to get back in so I'm still here and like I won't be home in time for our date."

Dieting excuse: "Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, and Popsicles."

Debt excuse: "I only spent $500 so I only repaid you the $500. That is fair." The man had borrowed $1,500.

Tax excuse: "It was my accountant's job to file the tax return." [United States v. Boyle, 469 U.S. 241 (1985).].

Jury Duty excuse: "I'm a professional psychic so I would know who is guilty even before the trial." (Excuse not accepted, man ordered to report for jury duty) [Reported in "Juror Excuses: Creativity Reigns" by Scott Goldstein, New Jersey Law Journal, 7 February 2000, p. 1].

No Sex excuses: "I can't have sex with you tonight because my feet smell."

Rent Excuse: "Sorry I can't pay my rent my car was repo'd and My paycheck was in it."

...and lots, lots more!