The Chocolate Fairy

While walking in the woods Douglas saw a young fairy who had fallen into the river and bravely dived in to rescue her. In gratitude the fairy granted Douglas three wishes. He wished for a huge pile of gold, and ‘poof’ there it was. Then he wished for a huge palace, again ‘poof’ and there it was. Finally he wished he could be irresistible to all women. There was a blinding flash, a mighty roar and ... poof - he turned into a box of chocolates.

Fondling in Bed

After 20 years of marriage, a couple was lying in bed one evening when the wife felt her husband begin to fondle her in ways he hadn't in some time.

It almost tickled as his hands started at her neck and then began moving down past the small of her back.

He then caressed her shoulders and her neck, slowly working his hand down over her breasts, stopping just over her lower stomach.

He then proceeded to place his hand on her left inner arm, caressed past the side of her breast again, working down her side, passed gently over her buttock and down her leg to her calf. Then, he proceeded up her inner thigh, stopping just at the innermost portion of her upper leg. He continued in the same manner on her right side, then suddenly stopped, rolled over, and started to watch TV.

As she had become quite aroused by this caressing, she asked in a loving voice, "That was wonderful. Why did you stop?"

He said, "I found the remote."